"Installing Love"

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everyone gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

NOTICE: Gone for 10 days...

on a road trip! "Talk" to you all later!

Funny Friday: Demanding Baby

A Pastor's Gutsy Prayer

It seems prayer still upsets some people.

Back in January 1996, when Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard;

"Heavenly Father,
We come before you today
To ask your forgiveness and
To seek your direction and guidance.
We know Your Word says,
"Woe to those who call evil good"
But that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium
And reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and
Called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness
And called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn
And called it choice.
We have shot abortionists
And called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline
Our children and called it
Building self esteem.
We have abused power
And called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's
Possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air
With profanity and
Pornography and called it
Freedom of speech and expression.
We have ridiculed the time
Honored values of our
Forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God,
And know our hearts today;
Cleanse us from every sin
And set us free.
Amen!"

The response was immediate a number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea.

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, "The Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our Nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one Nation under God."

(Ref. link http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/wright.asp )

Wonders Wednesday Photo: Smiling Fish

Cute Labs Times 8!

We had our yellow Lab for almost 15 years. He was born on this day in 1987, in a litter of 8 like this.

Our son (8-1/2) when we picked out our puppy (6-1/2 weeks) in 1987.

Above photo Copyright © 2008 "DJ" author of Sonbeam Corner. All Rights Reserved.

Road Sign

A Good Proverb

Dubai Roller Coaster

How cool is this!

Funny Friday: Frat House Cat

After 9/11

One company invited the remaining members of other companies who had been decimated by the attack on the Twin Towers to share their available office space. At a morning meeting, the head of security told stories of why these people were alive... and all the stories were just,

the ' L I T T L E ' things.

As you might know, the head of the company survived that day because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike because of an auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work, but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone...all the little things that annoy me. I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated; God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember their possible purpose.

(Here's a relevant article http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2008/09/11/devotion.aspx)

Wonders Wednesday Photo: Thistle

Copyright © 2008 "DJ" author of Sonbeam Corner. All Rights Reserved.

Texan Talk

The Official Primer of Elementary Texan

ALL: petroleum..........................................“They found all on mah land!”
ARE: sixty minutes....................................“Ah’ll meet yew thar in about a are!”
ARN: a metallic element...........................“Mah muscle is as strong as arn!”
AST: past tense of the verb ‘to ask’........“Who ast yew?”
BANES: a type of food...............................“Ah love pinto banes!”
BEAN: a living person................................“He’s a rawt nawce human bean!”
CARD: a person lacking courage..............“Yew yella bellawed card!”
DOLL: operate a telephone......................“Jes doll me up sometime!”
ERROR: used with a bow.........................“Ah shot a error into the air!”
FAVOR: have a temperature...................“Ah’m sick! Ah got a favor!”
GRAIN: a color...........................................“It’s jes grain as grass!”
HARE: a place or to listen.........................“Can yew hare me now?”
KAINT: contraction for cannot................“Yew kaint do that!”
KWAT: lacking noise.................................“Ah want pace and kwat aroun’ hare!”
LAGS: the lower limbs..............................“She got the cutest lags in town!”
LANE: to incline.........................................“Lane it upside the wall!”
LIBEL: likely..............................................“Yur libel t’git snockered drinkin’ RC!”
LON: a large feline....................................“The lon is the king of the jungle!”
NODE: past tense of ‘to know’.................“I node him for years!”
PAR: energy...............................................“Solar par is downright unAmerican!”
PAWN: on top of........................................“Put yer guns pawn the table!”
PAYPUL: a body of persons....................“Who are all these paypul?”
SAR: having a tart taste...........................“Boy, that lemon is sar!”
SENSE: from a past time..........................“It’s a are sense I had a RC!”
SEP: to omit................................................“Everybody get a RC sep yew!”
SLAVE: part of a garment........................“It’s a long slave shirt!”
STALE: to take feloniously.......................“Thou shalt not stale!”
STARS: a flight of steps............................“Jes go up them stars!”
TUTHER: of two or more.........................“Yew can take one or tuther!”
WARSH: to clean with water...................“Go warsh yur hands!”
WOOF: doglike animal.............................“Who’s afraid of the big bag woof?”
WUNST: at one time.................................“Ah used ta node her wunst!”

Post-It Art

Pain in My Side (funny)

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

Pick Meeeee! (puppy)

Funny Friday: Math Test Papers

Below are actual student test papers. (Click each one to view larger.)

A Teacher...

All your studies are important, but don't forget to read and study God's textbook, The Bible.

Back To School

Schools in our area started today, so I'm featuring a "Back To School" theme for 3 days.

Dumpster Bears After the Picnic

Happy Labor Day!

Jesus said, "Come unto me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

~ Matthew 11:28 ~