Saturday, May 31, 2008

Running Late

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Meaning of B.I.B.L.E.

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay”, said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy." The young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' "

Monday, May 26, 2008

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Hot Tub Chickens

Hope you're enjoying your weekend!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Pain in My Side (funny)

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

Friday, May 23, 2008

Funny Friday: Portable GPS...

to help you find your way during your weekend travels!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wonders Wednesday Photo: Huge Unidentified Bee


Copyright © 2008 "DJ" author of Sonbeam Corner. All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

We Made It!

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's or 70's, probably shouldn't have survived.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking).

As kids we would be carted around in cars with no seat belts or air bags and riding in the back of a truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on, and no one was able to reach us, because cell phones hadn't been invented.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no law suits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame, but us... Remember accidents?

We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We ate cakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar cordial, but we were hardly ever overweight... because we were always outside playing and although we shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, no one actually died.

We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, video games at all, 99 channels on cable, recorded movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, Internet chat rooms ...we had friends. We went outside and found them. We rode bikes, roller skated, or walked to their homes and stood in front and yelled for them to come out to play, or knocked on the door, rang the bell or just walked in to visit them. Imagine such a thing. Without asking a parent! By ourselves! Out there in the cold cruel world! How did we do it?

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.

Tests were not adjusted for any reason. Some students weren't as smart as others so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat it. And the next time, they usually passed.

Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected and there was no one to hide behind. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law, was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. And despite...or, perhaps, because of all this...this generation has produced some of the most outstanding risk-takers, problem solvers, innovators and inventors, ever.

The past 50 years has seen an explosion of advancement and new ideas. Why? Because we were given freedom and responsibility: the chance to succeed and to fail. And we learned how to make the most of what we were given.

If you were one of us, congratulations! If you weren't, too bad!

(Side note: Violent crime is in reality no worse than in the 70s and 80s, but the news coverage of it is. Most laws created to "protect" us, have actually been created to protect companies from law suits. Turn off the news and you will feel better about things!)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Waiting 'Til the Last Minute

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

Thursday, May 15, 2008

"Where is God?" (funny)

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two boys were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought that they should send the boys to speak to the clergyman. The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before something really bad happens."

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8 year old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in a stern tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boys face, "Where is God?"

At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?' The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time! God is missing and they think we did it!"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wonders Wednesday Photo: Razor Clam Shell

Copyright © 2008 "DJ" author of Sonbeam Corner. All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

"THAT'S GOD"

Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for?

THAT'S GOD! He speaks to you through the Holy Spirit.

Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to?

THAT'S GOD! He wants you to speak to Him.

Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them?

THAT'S GOD! There's no such thing as coincidence.

Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted, but couldn't afford?

THAT'S GOD! He knows the desires of your heart.

Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it?

THAT'S GOD! He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day.

Please pass this along and share the Power of God. In all that we do, we need to totally give HIM thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply.

NOW THAT'S GOD!!!!!!!!

Don't tell GOD how BIG your storm is,
tell the storm how BIG your GOD is!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

HAPPY 100th MOTHER'S DAY to all you Moms!!!

(Text below is from the American Bible Society)

On this Mother's Day, we want to remember and give thanks for biblical women of remarkable faith, especially mothers mentioned in the Bible. We want to honor you. Your gift of motherhood indeed "honors the Lord and deserved to be praised" (Proverbs 31:30 CEV)

And let's take some time this week to remember a few examples of how God has used the determined and generous love of moms throughout the pages of Scripture:

SARAH: The Mother of Isaac, Clinging to God's Promises –
With a child arriving long after she had given up hope of motherhood, Sarah models the passionate confidence of relying solely on God's provision. (Read: Genesis 18)

Mother of Moses, Risking to do What's Right –
Defying the greatest political power on the planet in order to give her son, Moses, a chance of survival, her courage and unyielding determination are a testament to the brave and faithful call of mothering. (Read: Exodus 2)

NAOMI: Mother-in-Law of Ruth, Discovering Trust in a Faithful God –
While still grieving the loss of her two sons, Naomi leaves home and country to find a new life with her daughter-in-law and new hope in the faithfulness of God. (Read: Ruth 1)

MARY: Mother of Jesus, a Portrait of Sacrificial Love –
Full of amazement and fear, Mary provides an extraordinary picture of a mother's love in action — unstoppable, determined, and trusting in the greater-still love of God. (Read: Luke 1:1-56).

LOIS: Grandmother of Timothy, Fostering Brave Faith –
Despite an array of personal and social risks, Lois helps steer her grandson toward his role as a leader in the early church. (Read: 2 Timothy 1)

ELIZABETH: Mother of John the Baptist, Bold Trust in God –
Rejoicing in the upcoming birth of her own son who would be the forerunner to Jesus, Elizabeth acknowledges God's plan and promise to send a savior to God's people. (Read: Luke 1:57-80)

Especially this Mother's Day, we give thanks for remarkable women of faith – those from God's Word, those who have gone on before us, and all those revealing the love of Christ in our lives.

Blessings to all and a very Happy Mother's Day!


Saturday, May 10, 2008

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Why It's Better To Be a Woman!

  • We got off the Titanic first.
  • We can cry and get off speeding fines.
  • Taxis stop for us.
  • Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
  • We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
  • Free dinners and movies.
  • New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
  • If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
  • If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
  • If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
  • We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
  • We have the ability to dress ourselves.
  • If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
  • Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
  • There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
  • We'll never regret piercing our ears.
  • We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
  • We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
  • We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Wonders Wednesday Photo: Natural Moms



Copyright © 2008 "DJ" author of Sonbeam Corner. All Rights Reserved.


Copyright © 2008 "DJ" author of Sonbeam Corner. All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Longest Burning Light Bulb

This light bulb has been lit up for over 100 years! They sure don't make them like they used to! Click here for web page.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Kids in Church: Hushers

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.

Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?They're hushers."

Friday, May 02, 2008

Funny Friday: The Pacific Northwest...

...According To Jeff Foxworthy:

1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye Salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon,Yakima, and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain,"and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
26. You measure distance in hours.
27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk Season (Fall).
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Today is National Day of Prayer

Click here to learn more


2008 Prayer for Our Nation

by Dr. Ravi Zacharias
2008 Honorary Chairman,
National Day of Prayer Task Force

Holy Father, in a world where so many are hungry,
You have given us food in abundance;

In a world where so many are hurting,
You offer to bind up our wounds;

In a world where so many are lonely,
You offer friendship to every heart;

In a world longing for peace,
You offer hope.

Yet, we are so stubborn and resistant.
Have mercy upon us, Lord.

Our nation is at a crossroads this year;
we look to you to be our strength and shield.

Please give us the guidance to elect one who will honor you
and to respond to the wisdom from above
so that our hope may be renewed and our blessings be treasured.

In God's holy name,
Amen.

Flowers for May Day

Copyright © 2008 "DJ" author of Sonbeam Corner. All Rights Reserved.