
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
No Wonder God Loves Little Children! (more)
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father ever mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway.
Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)
Dear God,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Bruce
Dear God,
If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her.
Denise
Dear God,
I think about you sometimes, even when I am not praying.
Elliott
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Women's Rules For Men
- We may be emotional beings, but do not lie to squirm your way out of trouble. We are not as gullible as you think.
- Don't fix it if it's really not broke. You don't need to take everything apart out of curiosity.
- Ask for directions!
- "I don't feel like talking right now" is an acceptable thing to say. The unacceptable thing to do is sit there and pretend you're listening and just say "uh huh" and "yes, dear." It's condescending.
- One remote is ENOUGH. No need to have a control tower in the living room.
- Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say "I was wrong."
- If we can't talk to you during a football game, then don't try to get our attention during a Lifetime movie.
- If you say you are going to do something, then just do it. Don't sit around thinking of creative excuses why you couldn't get to it.
- We are not your mothers, so don't expect us to clean up after you like one.
- Wendy's chili is not considered a romantic dinner for two.
- We understand that you have to put on a manly act in front of your friends. But in the privacy of your own home, it's okay if you just want to cuddle.
(To read "Men's Rules for Women" click here.)
Friday, June 27, 2008
What Are Cats and Dogs?
1) Cats do what they want.
2) They rarely listen to you.
3) They're totally unpredictable.
4) They whine when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8) They're moody.
9) They leave hair everywhere.
10) They drive you nuts and cost you money.
Conclusion: They're tiny little women in fur coats.
What are Dogs?
1) Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2) They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3) They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4) They growl when they are not happy.
5) When you want to play, they want to play.
6) When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7) They are great at begging.
8) They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9) They can never have enough toys and they leave them everywhere.
10) They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
Conclusion: They're tiny little men in fur coats.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
No Wonder God Loves Little Children!
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!
Eugene
Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma
Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?
Jane
Dear God,
Who draw's the lines around countries?
Nan
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Overheard Prayer
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
"Camp Granada" song lyrics
Here I am at Camp Granada.
Camp is very entertaining,
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.
I went hiking with Joe Spivey;
He developed poison ivy.
You remember Leonard Skinner;
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.
All the counselors hate the waiters,
And the lake has alligators,
And the head coach wants no sissies,
So he reads to us from something called "Ulysses".
Now I don't want this should scare ya,
But my bunk mate has malaria.
You remember Jeffrey Hardy,
They're about to organize a searching party.
Take me home, oh Mudda, Fadda,
Take me home, I hate Granada!
Don't leave me in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home, I promise I will not make noise,
Or mess the house with other boys.
Oh, please don't make me stay,
I've been here one whole day.
Dearest Father, darling Mother,
How's my precious little brother?
Let me come home if you miss me,
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.
Wait a minute, it stopped hailing,
Guys are swimming, gals are sailing.
Playing baseball, gee that's betta,
Mudda, Fadda, kindly disregard this letter!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Words of Wisdom (funny)
2. Someday we'll look back on this and plow into a parked car.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
7. My reality check bounced.
8. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
9. Slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter!
10. Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons, cuz, like, you're crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
11. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Father's Day!!!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
License Plates For Women
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Wonders Wednesday Photo: Double Tea Rose
Unusually shaped double tea rose in my garden.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Children Learn What They Live
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with tolerance
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement
He learns with confidence.
If a child lives with praise
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship
He learns to find love in the world.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
Thursday, June 05, 2008
NOW THAT'S GOD!
Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn’t see some rain soon, we would lose everything. It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes. I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers when I saw my six-year-old son, Billy, walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort, trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour: walking carefully to the woods, running back to the house.
Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him). He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being very careful not to spill the water he held in them ... maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site.
Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn lying on the ground; obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand. When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree.
I followed him back to the house to a spigot to which we had shut off the water. Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back. And it came clear to me: The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front of him.
His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting," was all he said. As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job. I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, other drops...and more drops...and more suddenly joined them. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride.
Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence. Those miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that... I'm not going to try. All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm...just like the actions of one little boy saved another.
This was written to honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon, but not before showing me the true face of God, in a little, sunburned body.
*Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for? THAT'S GOD! He speaks to you through the Holy Spirit.
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to?
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them? THAT'S GOD! There's no such thing as coincidence.
Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted, but couldn't afford.
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it? THAT'S GOD! He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
Please pass this along and share the Power of God. In all that we do, we need to totally give HIM thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply.
NOW THAT'S GOD!!!!!!!!
Don't tell GOD how Big your storm is.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Running Late
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Meaning of B.I.B.L.E.
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay”, said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy." The young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' "
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Pain in My Side (funny)
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
We Made It!
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's or 70's, probably shouldn't have survived.
Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking).
As kids we would be carted around in cars with no seat belts or air bags and riding in the back of a truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on, and no one was able to reach us, because cell phones hadn't been invented.
We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no law suits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame, but us... Remember accidents?
We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We ate cakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar cordial, but we were hardly ever overweight... because we were always outside playing and although we shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, no one actually died.
We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, video games at all, 99 channels on cable, recorded movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, Internet chat rooms ...we had friends. We went outside and found them. We rode bikes, roller skated, or walked to their homes and stood in front and yelled for them to come out to play, or knocked on the door, rang the bell or just walked in to visit them. Imagine such a thing. Without asking a parent! By ourselves! Out there in the cold cruel world! How did we do it?
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.
Tests were not adjusted for any reason. Some students weren't as smart as others so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat it. And the next time, they usually passed.
Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected and there was no one to hide behind. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law, was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. And despite...or, perhaps, because of all this...this generation has produced some of the most outstanding risk-takers, problem solvers, innovators and inventors, ever.
The past 50 years has seen an explosion of advancement and new ideas. Why? Because we were given freedom and responsibility: the chance to succeed and to fail. And we learned how to make the most of what we were given.
If you were one of us, congratulations! If you weren't, too bad!
(Side note: Violent crime is in reality no worse than in the 70s and 80s, but the news coverage of it is. Most laws created to "protect" us, have actually been created to protect companies from law suits. Turn off the news and you will feel better about things!)
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Waiting 'Til the Last Minute
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
"Where is God?" (funny)
The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8 year old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in a stern tone, "Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boys face, "Where is God?"
At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?' The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time! God is missing and they think we did it!"
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
"THAT'S GOD"
THAT'S GOD! He speaks to you through the Holy Spirit.
Have you ever been down and out and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to?
THAT'S GOD! He wants you to speak to Him.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time and then next thing you know you see them or receive a phone call from them?
THAT'S GOD! There's no such thing as coincidence.
Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, like money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you wanted, but couldn't afford?
THAT'S GOD! He knows the desires of your heart.
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it is going to get better, but now you look back on it?
THAT'S GOD! He passes us through tribulation to see a brighter day.
Please pass this along and share the Power of God. In all that we do, we need to totally give HIM thanks and our blessings will continue to multiply.
NOW THAT'S GOD!!!!!!!!
Don't tell GOD how BIG your storm is,
tell the storm how BIG your GOD is!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
HAPPY 100th MOTHER'S DAY to all you Moms!!!
On this Mother's Day, we want to remember and give thanks for biblical women of remarkable faith, especially mothers mentioned in the Bible. We want to honor you. Your gift of motherhood indeed "honors the Lord and deserved to be praised" (Proverbs 31:30 CEV)
And let's take some time this week to remember a few examples of how God has used the determined and generous love of moms throughout the pages of Scripture:
SARAH: The Mother of Isaac, Clinging to God's Promises –
With a child arriving long after she had given up hope of motherhood, Sarah models the passionate confidence of relying solely on God's provision. (Read: Genesis 18)
Mother of Moses, Risking to do What's Right –
Defying the greatest political power on the planet in order to give her son, Moses, a chance of survival, her courage and unyielding determination are a testament to the brave and faithful call of mothering. (Read: Exodus 2)
NAOMI: Mother-in-Law of Ruth, Discovering Trust in a Faithful God –
While still grieving the loss of her two sons, Naomi leaves home and country to find a new life with her daughter-in-law and new hope in the faithfulness of God. (Read: Ruth 1)
MARY: Mother of Jesus, a Portrait of Sacrificial Love –
Full of amazement and fear, Mary provides an extraordinary picture of a mother's love in action — unstoppable, determined, and trusting in the greater-still love of God. (Read: Luke 1:1-56).
LOIS: Grandmother of Timothy, Fostering Brave Faith –
Despite an array of personal and social risks, Lois helps steer her grandson toward his role as a leader in the early church. (Read: 2 Timothy 1)
ELIZABETH: Mother of John the Baptist, Bold Trust in God –
Rejoicing in the upcoming birth of her own son who would be the forerunner to Jesus, Elizabeth acknowledges God's plan and promise to send a savior to God's people. (Read: Luke 1:57-80)
Especially this Mother's Day, we give thanks for remarkable women of faith – those from God's Word, those who have gone on before us, and all those revealing the love of Christ in our lives.
Blessings to all and a very Happy Mother's Day!


Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 09, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Why It's Better To Be a Woman!
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We can cry and get off speeding fines.
- Taxis stop for us.
- Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- Free dinners and movies.
- New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
- If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
- We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
- Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- We'll never regret piercing our ears.
- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
- We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Longest Burning Light Bulb
Monday, May 05, 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Kids in Church: Hushers
Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?They're hushers."
Friday, May 02, 2008
Funny Friday: The Pacific Northwest...
1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye Salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon,Yakima, and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain,"and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
26. You measure distance in hours.
27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk Season (Fall).
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Today is National Day of Prayer
You have given us food in abundance;
In a world where so many are hurting,
Our nation is at a crossroads this year;